There and Back Again: Week 35 BRAVE!

Last Friday I had the pleasure of teaching another homeschool group about the science of soaps and detergents and then we made homemade icecream and learned how salt makes ice colder! I sat on my driveway in the shade of the house waiting for them to arrive so I could show them the back door and then to the basement. We're having a heat wave so I decided to do our class indoors. As I sat there, a little robin landed about 8 feet in front of me, looked right at me and BOWED LOW and held it for a long time while still looking right at me... long enough for me to get my camera out and take a picture. Then it flew off. I felt like I was in a fairy tale, with castles, and rainbows, and magic adventures! LOL

Then I looked it up on google...It was either Sunbathing or Flirting with me. So mystery solved. LOL

Thursday we set up over 900 chairs for the June 27th Memorial of Joseph and Hyrum Smith. The box truck arrived with the chairs just as two tour buses of youth were finishing their tour of the jail and getting ready to go to dinner. Their guide asked what needed to be done and was told "we need help setting up chairs" he was excited for the youth to have an impromptu service project and they flooded from the air conditioned buses back out into the heat and litterally in less than a half hour set up hundreds of chairs! It was a mercy from God.

The Memorial went wonderfully! The music was great, the talks were well done, and Elder Cullen and I got many many compliments on the conditions of the grounds which felt really good.

You can watch this event on youtube. It's called June 27th Memorial of Joseph and Hyrum Smith 2025 Today I was demoted from Superhero Status to just a brave person. I will explain. For over 30 years I have been teaching hundreds of students to not be afraid and to do hard things. I would chuckle to myself as a student would come to me and say they were too scared to perform with the other 200 students. I would think but not say "With over a hundred kids up there...no one but your parents will even see you. If you hold still , sing or play as directed (even if you just mouth the words) no one will even look at you. You will be camouflaged."

What I do say is this, " You can do hard things. It's good to be afraid because that means you are brave. Brave people are people who are scared but do what needs to be done anyway. Mrs. Cullen is not brave because she's not scared anymore. she's performed so many times and failed and succeded and survived that she just doesn't care anymore. Now she's free to help others not to be afraid, that's superheo status. When a person can enter a scary situation and is not afraid and can help other's to not fear..that's superhero status. But before you can be a superhero you have to be brave, and before you can be brave, you have to be scared." 99% of the time they believe me and participate and are so proud of themselves afterwards. They can do hard things.! This gives me huge joy. For this next story adventure I am inserting pictures of our Saturday trip to McComb where Monopoly was invented. It has nothing to do with the story BUT it breaks up the text. There are no pictures of what I went through! LOL SO NOW, how did Mrs. Cullen get demoted? Well, two months ago the choir director here was asking for accompanists to help out. I love singing, but when there wasn't any eager response from anyone, I volunteered to play for a song that was to be performed in two months. I can do anything with two months practice, I thought. I started practicing daily and soon the choir finished all their other songs except the one I was to accompany. We began to rehearse. There were only three rehearsals.

We came down to Nauvoo for the first practice and the piano felt so different from my keyboard. The hard parts of the song got tripped up. It was weird. I upped my practicing game. At the second rehearsal I came back and was alarmed at the number of mistakes I was making!! I didn't make those mistakes at home. Sections I totally knew became lost and forgotten. And it was inconsistant too. There one time, gone the next. The choir and director were gracious but I was scared. What was happening? I asked them to pray for me. I had four days left to performance time. I had Elder Cullen give me blessing. He laid his hands on my head and promised that if I would put in extra hours, the Lord would bless me. So I did hours. I haven't practiced like that since High School. I came to our last rehearsal this morning at 7:30am with the performance at 8:30am

I was scared. I thought, " If ye are prepared ye shall not fear" but I had prepared and little sections of the song were just coming and going randomly. I was scared. Thoughts filled my mind. I knew it was just Satan attacking my head but I couldn't ignore it. "I can't play piano anymore. I'm never volunteering for anything again. My brain is broken, I'm going to ask Elder Cieslak to play it. I could just walk out and they can sing accapella." THEN I thought, "NO! They trusted me. I can't do that to them. UGH where is my faith? Where is my confidence? God help me not to waiver." I was so jumbled in my head. Then I remembered, "I CAN do hard things. I'm scared. I will probably ruin the performance, but I will still be OK and so will everyone else, except they'll never ask me to play again, and I won't volunteer anyway." Practice ended, I played prelude for the meeting and the usually talkative crowd suddenly became VERY quiet. Very Very Quiet. "OH My GOSH!" I whimpered in my mind. "They're listening to me! I'm going to mess up and they're all going to hear it!" OK SO THAT'S CRAZY because I love playing prelude. It usually calms and delights me. Now I felt so unstable and it was NOT NICE. (Elder Cullen said it was SO beautiful they had to listen. He never lies.)

"Jesus Help me!" I pled. I thought about my friend back home who had suddenly started having panic attacks and depression several years ago. She refused to play her instruments for our congregation ever again. So weird...I was beginning to understand. I played the opening song and felt like I was faking the whole thing. Then the sacrament song, then the first talk began and ended and then suddenly it was time.

"Faith not Fear, Faith not Fear" I chanted in my mind as I walked with the choir to the front and took my seat at the piano. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly and looked at the director who smiled so lovingly. She gave me the tempo and my fingers flew and tripped over the keys. There were small glitches, but none that anyone in the audience would notice and then, suddenly I was playing the last measure. It was over. I survived, I didn't mess up the choir. I was so grateful I could feel my face beeming with relief. So, somehow, I have become brave again. I don't know why or how but I do know this. I can do hard things and with God, nothing is impossible. You don't have to be a superhero to know that.

There and Back again: Week 34 HOT WET and HOT!

Welcome to the Midwest Summer! Muggy and Buggy. I've been bit up especially around my elbows for some reason. I don't think we've sweated this much in our whole lives. BUT life goes on!

I spent three hours mowing the Bushnell property and the engine overheated. I sat in the hot wet shade of a lovely tree and waited 20 min then finished mowing with the blower blowing hot air (to take it off the engine) It was in the mid ninetys but "felt like", according to google, 110! Maybe the steam/humidity factor had something to do with that?? I don't know where they get their "feels like" information. If YOU know please leave a comment and enlighten me. No I don't want to google it. LOL

Observe the lettering on this monument. MANY of the letters are filled with dust and birdpoop because the top of the monument was pooped on and then a light rain drizzled down spreading it evenly among the letters...ugh Because it's a monument we can't just scrub away at it because it will wear away the gold leaf/paint. So I have to get my handy dandy soft tooth brush.

The one I use to clean but not wear away the surface below...and feather brush with distilled water about 20 times...so lightly that it doesn't touch the actual paint if I can help it.

As I patiently feather away the filth in the lettering on some days I think many thoughts. Like, how grateful I am for heavy rains that wash it all away for me...and then...how the storms of life can really be a blessing. They knock off the dead and weak branches, wash away weeks of dead leaves hiding in the bushes, and clear the gutters or concentrate the mess in easy to pick up spots, like the drain grate. How is that like my life? Horrendus trials drive me to the Savior. Many times my trials are brought on by my sins and weaknesses and even if not...they expose my weakness for sure. THIS is a good thing. If you can't see what's wrong with yourself IN A GOOD WAY and be excited to change for the better WITH JESUS's HELP, you won't be ready to meet Him when he shows up. He's coming very soon. I hope all of you get a chance to come out to Nauvoo and Carthage and take the tours and see the shows and bask in the lovely peace and fun here. Here's the finale song of one of the Sunday performances called "The Savior of the World"

There and Back Again: Week 33 Happy Father's Day!

This is my dad in his prime. A few years later he had an accident. In his own words he says, "Between 33,000 and 57,000 volts, depending on which newspaper you read, went from the lines, through the machine, and arced to me, as I stepped over the outrigger and grounded in a concrete wall. I did not lose conscious, but I wish I had. At first, I thought I was in an explosion, but it kept going and I felt a hammering in every cell of my body. I couldn’t figure out what was happening. I tasted copper on the sides of my tongue and saw bright blue-white flashes reflecting off everything, like arc welding. I smelled burnt flesh and hair. It held me in the air for several seconds, spinning awkwardly, with sparks flying from my body. A first powerline gave way, and the boom continued upward and made contact with a second line. Another jolt hit me. This time it threw me about 10 feet, and out of the electrical field. "

He was in the hospital for a year and told he would never walk nor have children. They had to take the skin off his back and put it on his legs to re cover the muscle and bone. CRAZY. He was given a priesthood blessing while he lay sizzled in the gravel. I am the oldest of his 8 children.

He transferred from Linfield Baptist College to Brigham Young University and met my lovely mother.

And we started rolling down from heaven. LOL My dad is far from perfect...does that even have to be said? My dad is a fantastic example of a disciple of Jesus Christ. He LOVES the Lord and desires to bring all people unto him. His whole life has been a mission since that "shocking" event. I am grateful for his example of perseverance in adversity, trust in the Lord, and making all of us kids feel like we are capable and needed. He never genderized chores, I weilded power tools just like my brothers, they did dishes and helped "feed the baby" just like the girls. Dad was a natural teacher and friend. He also continues to live even in PAIN! At Christmas he fell and snapped his spine in half and had to have his spine screwed back together so it could heal.

No matter how much pain he is in, he keeps doing fun things, showing up for birthdays, baptisms, weddings, showers, mission farewells, mission homecomings. He, right there with mom,is always loving us.

I am grateful that my dad took his abusive childhood, turned to Christ and became a better man, a better dad than he had. I am grateful for his imperfect examples and his perfect ones. I am grateful for my HEAVENLY Father who sent my Older Brother, Jesus Christ to make it possible for all of us to come home to Heavenly Father and Mother where we can be families forever. Happy Father's Day!

CHEMISTRY and HOMESCHOOLING!

Homeschooling is HUGE out here. I mentioned to one of our historians that I homeschooled my kids and that I used to be a chemist. She asked if she could share my info with her group. Last week I had the extreme pleasure of teaching over 30 kids ages 5 to 18 the joys of Acid/Base indicators. Sharing our gifts, talents, and knowledge is how we serve Christ. In the book of Mormon, King Benjamin tells us that when we are in the service of our fellow beings we are only in the service of our God. Jesus said, "If you've done it unto the least of these, my brethren, ye have done it unto me." I was grateful and delighted to have the opportunity and hope I get invited back!

The Helmet of Salvation.

I went to my first THRESHERS faire in a place called Denmark, IA. It was mostly tractors, cute little tractor rides, cool old cars, Amish baked goods, wonderful crafts...and then a random Ren Faire booth with cool things like this helmet! LOL I had to buy it. I could not, not buy it. It was the "Helmet of Salvation" talked about in the New Testament. Ephesians 6:17 instructs us to put on the whole armor of God and to “take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit.” When a soldier suited up for battle, the helmet was the last piece of armor to go on. It was the final act of readiness in preparation for combat. A helmet was vital for survival, protecting the brain, the command station for the rest of the body. If the head was badly damaged, the rest of the armor would be of little use. KNOWING you are a literal spirit child of God can do much against Satan's attacks on our thinking. Knowing that you don't have to be perfect or flawless because Jesus Christ suffered His attoning sacrifice so we can all be healed and saved if we choose Him, can ward off many mental blows of the adversary. The helmet of salvation protects our minds from deception because we have God's WORD, and God's prophets to help us KNOW Truth.

Elder Cullen didn't even contest the purchase. He thought it was cool too. LOL His happy surprise at the faire was finding tractors that reminded him of his days on Uncle Les's farm in Coram, New York!

There and Back Again: Week 32 Bye Bye Love! Bye Bye McConeghey Family!!!

Tomorrow my daughter, Autumn and her sweet husband, Aaron, and kids (Emmet and Taran) will be moving to Tennessee. Heavenly Father has been SO kind to give us this 6 month overlap so we can enjoy each other and strengthen our relationships and be so close (just a 2 hour drive!). We came up to help them pack, but they were pretty much super organized and just needed us to keep the boys busy. We will MISS them immensley!

As I played with the boys at the park I was soaking up every minute of pushing on the swings, throwing the ball, climbing, oooing and ahhing at their skills. I was also thinking, they are never going to remember this time,they are too young, but I hope they remember that we love them very very much!

Then I thought of our "Earth Life School". We ALSO do not remember moments of sitting on Heavenly Father's knee while he sang to us or working in a flower garden with Heavenly Mother or doing whatever we did up there. We have a veil over our minds for this blind test, BUT I do know that they love us very much. THAT fact has carried me through a lot. Just as we are relegated to video chat and phone with McConegheys again, we are still able to talk through prayer and our spiritual experiences with Heavenly Father. So the time spent loving each other is not for nothing. This small contact reminds us, we are loved.

We drove home from Iowa City and got back in time to attend a missionary fireside in Nauvoo about God's Plan of Happiness. Specifically how Zion fits into the great plan. It was WONDERFUL! Basically since the Fall of Adam and Eve, we have been separated from God (he's the glowing creation figure we're the gray figure). Jesus Christ provided the way to repent and be sanctified by his Atonement which will bring us back into God's presence. Establishing Zion will help us learn how to live in Heaven! One heart, one mind, no poor among them, everyone doing their best, everyone caring about each other. Not all the same,(look around at all the diversity of beauty and skill in God's creations...God is diverse) but all with the same intent...to be like Christ in thought and behavior. When we've learned that, we will be sanctified and able to withstand the presence of God again.

In OTHER news, last week we survived our first Tornado. We were driving from Carthage to Nauvoo for a choir rehearsal (I am accompanying the choir) and our phones and car went LOUDLY on Alert, "WARNING!!! Tornado is heading your way, go immediately to shelter. If you are in your car, get out and lay face down in a ditch!" It was raining hard and the wind was blowing, but it didn't seem dangerous. Elder Cullen said, "We're ten minutes away, let's get to the visitor's center where we can shelter in the basement. That sounded better than a ditch to me. I floored it and we got there in 5 minutes. By that time the wind was blowing SIDEWAYS and people from all over were running to the Visitor's Center, drenched and excited and scared. Down in the basement were guests, senior missionaries, and a bunch of young performing missionaries. That was a party...piano, guitar, ukele, card games, singing in glorious harmonies, the perfect place to wait out a storm. No one I know of got hurt. Many trees down, LOTS of clean up. It made me think again of life. There are dangerous storms in all of our lives that can physically and spiritually and emotionally harm us...lethally. HOWEVER we can shelter in Christ together...all ages, all ablilites, all walks of life and it can still be a party. Next time I shelter I'm bringing pizza! LOL I know God could have provided that too. tee hee Great Quote:" ‘I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise.’ (Doc. and Cov. 82:10.) He operates by law and not by arbitrariness or caprice.” (In Conference Report, Apr. 1930, p. 96.) Everyone is capable of all the promised blessings. Just follow the rules. Have a great week! Check your 72 hour kits.

There and Back Again: Week 31 House of the Risen Son

GREAT NEWS!!! My back stopped hurting last Sunday. After two weeks it was such a delight to get out of bed and not be in pain!!!!! Thank you for all your prayers. So because I was well, we rearraged the house and made this room our COUNCIL ROOM. Where we could council together in love and righteousness and make maps of our Carthage site, list our duties, mow schedules, blow schedules, etc.

OK, I'm not going to lie...it was our goal, but it started out rough. We were frustrated with each other, contentious, and had to go back to our corners...literally different rooms and breath, humble ourselves, pray for help and come back. THEN it got better, then it got GOOD! As a result...we were organized, had a plan, and called it our first experiment. We will reconvene this Sunday and talk about what worked, what great ideas we had while working and what needed further pondering and review.

Because we followed our "first experiment plan", things went OK. Like having time to paint weathered and cracked wood on the visitor's center. Last Friday was the FIRST day since we moved here that we didn't feel chaotic and worried about all we had to do, all we had been doing, and what did we not know about that we should be doing! We have 4 or 5 different "bosses" here because we have so many responsibilites. They have all been extremely kind, calm, compassionate, humorous, forgiving, and supportive. Immensly supportive.

While cleaning bricks of bird poop, I thought to myself. WHY are we doing this when literally the birds are pooping behind us as we clean?! Then I thought about my life and why I need daily repentance. If we just cleaned the bricks once a week, or once a month it would look SOO bad and be so much harder to clean. Cleaning it daily keeps it looking great for a longer period of time. Additional repetitive big splats are taken care of by us or the site missionaries when they are seen. It's like when I get contentious...big splat...stop and repent...clean that up right away. Eventually, unlike the bird poop, it's going to stop. LOL

One of the BEST blessings this past week was being asked to help provide lunch for a visiting general authority! Elder Kyle McKay and his wife, and the mission president Daniel Mehr III, and his wife. Sister Workman was in charge and we had so much fun making delicious food and presenting it nicely. OF course our husbands were right there beside us making it awesome.

Elder McKay and his wife were so fun, funny, and deeply spiritual and loving. I loved everything he had to say. This one line stayed with me. He said that with any church calling including being a general authority, that when he is doing it he feels both incapable and strongly confident. He knows that if he's doing what the Lord wants, even if he's never done it before he's going to get good at it because God will help him. I LOVED that. I have experienced it myself.

Last night at the missionary Welcome/Farewell Dinner some of my friends and I performed a song that I wrote the lyrics for to the tune of House of the Rising Sun...one of my favorite tunes. Elder Cullen ran the slide show for us. You can see it at the link below It was very well received and we got great compliments from it. So until next week...continue to repent daily, be creative, try new things in the confidence of God. I love you. Alma 60:25,26 25 -I will leave the strength and the blessings of God upon them, that none other power can operate against them— 26 And this because of their exceeding faith, and their patience in their tribulations. I love these verses because it shows that we don't have to be perfect to receive blessings and strength from God. We just need to have faith in Jesus Christ and strive everyday to be better, and more like Him.