There and Back Again: Week 46 Peace, Be Still

This has been a week of filling the world with Love. I was in awe of the beautiful temple once again. In the blackest of night it shines like the MOON. The Moon is always a reminder that the sun is always shining...ALWAYS even when the earth has turned her back on the source of light. The moon and the temple are a contant reminder that the Light of the World, Jesus Christ, is always there. We can be the "Moon" to others who are in the dark because it's night time in their life, through the actions of others, or because they have turned from the source of light. There are times when my friends and family are "Moons" to me. Shining bright as they come to serve and love me.

This was a stressful week for me because I was entangled in several levels of conflicting leadership as I was doing my new job (in addition to the one I'm already doing) Activities Director for the Mission. I'm excited about it. I LOVE doing it, and immediately I had responsibilities for activities in the mission, in our Carthage Community, and in the state of Iowa, representing the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Historic Sites Mission. I'd be told to start on one thing only to be chastised by someone else for going too fast or to check in with someone else first.

It was pretty painful to be praised and "slapped down" every couple of days... After the third time I sent a message to all four leaders from all four different rungs on the "in charge" ladder and expressed my frustration with the confusing leadership style and asked for grace as I tried to figure it out. I explained that I don't like to procrastinate and I like to be prepared early because there are ALWAYS surprises when you put on community events and if you have your ducks in a row and a back up plan in your pocket you can problem solve faster and still deliver a GREAT product. I gave examples of the contradicting experiences pushed "send" and went outside and hoed the heck out the weeds around the trees on the lawn with tears leaking out of my eyes.

As I took out my frustration on the poor weeds, Elder Cullen was calm and loving and supportive. He was gentler on the weeds and making jokes until I softened and started praying for my enemies real and imagined. I prayed that our hearts would be softened and we would be friends. I prayed and prayed the whole time we worked. Later a young sister missionary said she saw me weeding out the window of the visitor center and praised me for how hard and fast I was working.. HAHAHAH I didn't tell her why, but it made me giggle inside. Elder Cullen says we're all still in middle school and at times I have to agree.

When I went in to change for another activity I had four texts or emails waiting for me full of apology, love, and gratitude and good ideas for moving forward. I was SO grateful to Heavenly Father for this. The miracle of a change of heart is greater than the parting of the seas! All is well. THIS week I had the pleasure of teaching a house full of homeschoolers about crystal structions and chemicals moving across permeable membranes.

I had 12 students ranging from kindergarten through 12th grade. It was very fun. They all learned alot and had a great time.

We also made lunch for some friends and spent time getting to know them better.

Last of all, every day...several times a day I look out my kitchen or living room window and see this.

And I remember daily that the prophet, Joseph Smith, and his brother, Hyrum, were murdered because of their beliefs. The constitution did not protect them. While their families and friends wept others partied and congratulated each other. I met a man this week who came to use the Visitor Center rest room who told us his family helped drive the "Mormons" out of Nauvoo so he didn't feel he deserved to have a tour. As he scuttled away my missionary friend shouted out, "We still love you. You are not the actions of your ancestors!" He didn't turn around.

There's nothing that has been done to us, or by us that Jesus has not already paid for. The slate is clear for all those who accept Jesus Christ and the atonement He suffered. As he was napping on the little fishing boat during the storm at sea his friends woke him in a PANIC. WHAT in the WORLD!? HOW can you SLEEP when we're all about to die? He chastised them for not having faith and stood up and said, "Peace, Be Still" and wind the the waves died down. THIS can happen in your life. Keep Jesus in your boat AND enjoy this beautiful song. I have sung this before with my Vinyl Revival friends. I LOVE IT!!

There and Back Again: Week 45 Blessings in Yard Work!

We had the extreme pleasure of getting permission to go to Tennessee to visit Autumn and Aaron in their new home. We celebrated Autumn's birthday, I got to tell bedtime stories every night. Elder Cullen and I made a scary movie directed and thought of by Emmet. AND we got to do what we do best these days... LOTS of YARD WORK!!

We all worked hard together. Unfortuneately we didn't get BEFORE pictures...of the original state, but we got some "mid" pictures and "finished little project Pictures"

Autumn has really good ideas about beautifying her yard. She IS a Master Gardener. This mailbox was surrounded by weeds and HARD clay and after an hour and a half...

We really loved being with Autumn and Aaron. They were very gracious and fun. I noticed that Heavenly Father is blessing them a LOT! In small but important ways. They are a young family on a tight budget, so Heavenly Father directed Autumn to place a few calls and got that pile of mulch for FREE! She was inspiried where to go to get cardboard for laying the mulch on as better protection against the weeds. They needed yard tools and we found a thrift store having a 50% off yard tools sale! Unbelieveable!! When we rented the rototiller from Home Depot, they were having trouble getting the cap off the gas tank so gave Autumn 50% off the rental for wasting her time! It goes on and on with a SUPER sale on sheds...they got one at 1/4 the cost...crazy. So many "trials" became huge blessings and it was clear that they were being helped by outside spiritual sources.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not unto thy own understanding and He will direct they paths...it's TRUE HE WILL.

When we got home our missionary friends had been helping out with the chores in Carthage! We were so grateful. I forgot to ask anyone to water my pots in the back yard! YIKES. My little flowers in the back yard were so happy to see us! They needed water bad and we gave them a good soaking and they sprug back all cheerful and fresh!

Then it was back to work...wait...we never stopped working! LOL Just a change of yards.

I have to say. I could do this job until I drop. I want to die in the saddle so to speak.

Not because yard work is SO fun, but I love the feeling of strengthening help from Heavenly Father as we do this job and the feeling of joy we get when we've finished a good hard days work.

My dear sweet friends took pictures of us working! They said they knew we were hard workers, but didn't know just how much we were doing until they had to do it. It was awesome to feel appreciated. OK so I'm going to end with Emmet's scary movie. Please don't be freaked out.

There and Back again: Week 44 Deer in the streets

In Illinois it is illegal to put green waste in the garbage can. Everyone has to take their grass, branches, yard clippings, etc to the town burn pile just outside of town. It's a perpetually burning mountain of trees and brush and old farm produce (apples, corn, tomatoes, etc.) FLY heaven. Elder Cullen and I go here at least twice a week. As we pulled out we saw these two deer...perhaps a mom and her baby having quality time together? We stopped and just enjoyed them.

My father paints deer in the forest often. It made me think of him. Then we drove a hundred feet down the road and saw this.

It made us sad and horrified. What we saw as we got right next it to is was not photographable. A terrible sight. It changed my thoughts of the first scene from a fun mommy-child walk in the woods to a terrible scene of a family searching for a lost child/sibling. It just made me think, you never know what's going on in someone's life. What appears to you like the ideal in someone else's life may be very far from the truth, and what may seem like a tragedy may also be very far from the truth. You just don't know. The Holy Spririt might tell you if it's your business or God wants it to be your business, but mostly we should just be loving and non condeming or jealous of anyone. It's never what you think. And that is the parable of the deer in the streets. Here's an amazing video about physical and spiritual healing.

There and Back Again: Week 43 BEAUTY inside and out and Words from Elder Cullen

Reg/Elder Cullen says, "Today is Saturday, August 23, 2025. Sister Cullen and I went to a Classic and Antique car show held at Plymouth, IL which is a tiny hamlet with a population of 400. There were plenty of wonderfully restored and minutly detailed cars from every decade from the 1900s.

That is: Ford model T, Model A, Chicago Gangster Sedans from the 1930s;

it just went on and on and on in a wonderful display of colors, shapes and horsepower!

There is a small town square in Plymouth, but enough variety of craft vendors and food trucks and carnival rides to make the visit worth while. The BEST part was an artist offering FREE charcoal caractures. So we waited in line and his drawing of us is shown below.

While we were sitting for our characture, Heather/Sis Cullen asked some local girls to get us a lemonade from a vendor across the path and they did so cheerfully. Previously I tried to buy a slice of German brownie Cake from an Amish Vendor, but they didn't have change for a $20. So I eventually found the cheapest craft I could and bought a $1, magnitized, needle pointed pumpkin...mostly to get the change needed for the Amish brownie cake. When the girls got Sis Cullen the lemonade, I gave the pumpkin to the girls as a tip. They refused the $5 Sister Cullen tried to give them. So it all worked out nicely: I got the German Brownie Cake and I didn't have to take the pumpkin craft home. I think that in the characture, Heather looks like Spring and I look like a young farmer! We'll likely frame this drawing and Sister Cullen may colorize it with water colors. When the artist asked me to smile more I started to sing, "When you're smiling, when you're smiling, the whole world smiles with you!..." Unexpectedly, he started singing along and we had an impromptu duet on the town square in Plymouth! We love serving the Lord in Illinos!"

Today I was looking at the flowers in my front yard and thinking how wonderful Heavenly Father and Jesus are. How artistic and fun. You can tell how they are by how they express themselves in Nature. The scriptures say "All things testify of a creator" and it's true!

Also, In our companionship study we read this in the hand book, "Throughout your life. As companions: Love, respect, and strengthen each other. Study together every day and pray together frequently throughout the day. Be humble and recognize each other’s strengths.

Treat each other as you would like to be treated. Avoid criticism and contention.

Avoid speaking negatively about each other to other missionaries, Church members, or family and friends at home. If you notice any inappropriate situation or behavior, discuss it with your companion. If the matter is not resolved or if your companion is being abusive, have the courage and love for your companion to ask your mission president for help (see 3.9.2)

Whenever you see any missionaries, of any age or gender, this is what is in the handbook. So feel free to help them follow these guidelines.

I am grateful for these reminders. I can do better at some of this. I am getting better and better at not speaking negatively about anyone. I am thankful for the Grace of Jesus Christ that helps me want to be better, gives me the strength to be better, and the only thing I have to do is be willing to change.

There and Back Again: Week 42 MY BIRTHDAY!!!

I'm writing this early because who knows what the weekend may bring. Tomorrow is my Birthday! I'm starting off with a much needed massage. I must say that this week there were several projects that taxed my muscles with lots of hauling of heavy things, and repetative motions. That being said, the Lord has strengthened me and brought me up to the task!

One of the heavy things I had to do this week was help my dear friends pack up to move. They are going home 2 months early due to health issues. They are a miracle. They are actually MUCH MUCH stronger and clearer of mind than when they came but a recent accident neccitated better resting and recuperations that can only be done at home. Like the early saints of Nauvoo, they are being driven from the place they want to stay at by their trials. AND like the early saints the last thing they did before leaving was to attend the temple with friends and renew their covenants with God in order to have power to triumph over the trials of the next phase of life. The sister in the wheelchair is one of our Blue Belle Shiners, hard working and dedicated. The brother worked in Carpentry with Elder Cullen until we were moved to Carthage.

It was a real spirtual experience that all our close friends were able to attend that last session with them. We really do live in a covenant community. It's very wonderful. They also got to have their last Surrey Ride and we all waved "Hurrah for Israel" Flags as they passed. For those who don't know... in the early 1800s,two of our modern day apostles got called on 5 year missions to the Brittish Isles. They were very sick and so were their wives and children. As the men lay in the back of the wagon heading off on their mission, one said to the other, something like...."It's breaking my heart for them to see us leaving in this condition. They must be so worried! Let's give them a cheer" So they struggled to their feet and shouted "Hurrah! Hurrah For Israel" upon hearing this, their wives struggled out of bed sick but laughing and stood clinging to the door calling back "Hurrah! Hurrah for Israel!" Meaning that the gathering of Israel was going forth despite their trials. They were cheered. So as our friends are being sent home we shout "HURRAH, HURRAH for Israel!!!" Because we know that even after our missions, and despite our trials we will continue to lift our voices in declaring truth and those who are of the House of Israel will hear that truth and come out of the world and join themselves with the body of Christ.

In other fun news, I just picked TWO cucumbers and a tomato from my garden. I know you California people have been feasting all summer lol but this is my first attempt at gardening here and it's weird. I had these things in the ground back in May and I'm just getting results. Delicious results I might say.

Also Elder Cullen and I made another fun video! It's a parody about life as an FM Missionary in Carthage. PLEASE enjoy. And LAST but not least. If anything is stopping you from coming unto Christ. Please consider this.

There and Back Again: Week 41, 60 year wedding anniversary and raking at night time

This week my parents celebrated their 60th Wedding anniversary! How many people do you know are still married after 60 years? My parents came from very differnt and sometimes troubled backgrounds. HOWEVER, they had both been converted to Jesus Christ and had committed their lives to Him and the building of His Kingdom. I am the oldest of their 8 children. Our childhood was full of creativity, gospel learning, family activities, and camping/loving nature. I believe that the healing power of Jesus Christ was invited into their lives and it has been healing them ever since. Every year is better than the last even if only by millimeters. They are an example to me of obedience to God and perseverance. Thanks mom and dad! I love you. Here's to 20 more years!

The other day as evening began, Reg, who I think is fighting a bug, was asleep by 5:30pm. I was "boink" awake and felt like I had too much energy so went back outside to weed and rake. It was still very warm outside and the evening light was so soothing and lovely. As I worked my way down the the lawn near the pavers, a little family pulled into the parking lot. They got out and started walking down the path, reading each monument. I smiled and said, "Welcome to Carthage!". They replied. "We know you're closed, but can we please just look around?" Of course I said they could. Carthage grounds actually never close. After talking to them I discovered they were driving from St. Louis to Chicago and would not be coming back any time soon. I offered to take them on a tour. They were amazed and expressed worry that it would delay my work...not a problem. I called two different Sr. Missionary couples and Elder D. GRACIOUSLY offered to accompany me and spot me. AND SO I gave my FIRST tour. I did pretty good. It made me want to study the notes more and do it more often. I loved it. The family was so grateful. I was very glad I was out there weeding or I should have missed them for sure. After the tour I continued to weed and rake until 9pm. It was so nice. I came in when it was too dark.

I want to say something here about weeds...Two months ago I noticed a strange weed that looked like a little tree was trying to grow in the middle of the lawn. I tried to pull on it, but it was quite strong, so I decided just to mow over it instead. After a month or so I noticed that more and more of these little tree weeds were popping up. I decided last week I needed to actually dig them up. OH how I wished I had dug up that one little weed two months ago.

The more I mowed them, the fatter and stronger their roots had gotten.

AND they grew runners! I dug and dug and pulled and chopped until 30 of them were out of the lawn and there was no sign of any others. WHEW! If I had just dug up the one when I first noticed it!

So there's a metaphore here. When we sin, if we just cover it up and not root it out...it may look manageable/OK for a little while, but every time we cover it/mow over it, the root of that sin becomes stronger and stronger and starts birthing other sins and then you're lawn is ruined. BUT JESUS is our deliverer and healer. There isn't anything you can break, including your life, that He can't fix. I love the following quote from "Your Repentance Doesn't Burden Jesus Christ, It Brightens His Joy" by Sister Runia. "Your worth isn't tied to obedience. Your worth is constant; it never changes. It was given to you by God, and there's nothing you or anyone else can do to change it. Obedience brings blessings; that is true. But worth isn't one of them. Your worth is always "great in the sight of God," no matter where your decisions have taken you."

Tools of the Master Gardner! In other fun, Elder Cullen and I fed some young sister missionaries twice this week. They were SO adorable. They made up a thank you song and sang it to us. What creativity and hilarity. I really love those young sisters!!!

LAST of ALL...I performed the hula with my friends at the mission luau! One of our polynesian sisters and her companion taught it to us. May you ALL learn to dance and feel the love of your body like I do!