There and Back Again Week 18

Did I mention I was the oldest of eight kids? I have five younger sisters and two younger brothers. I would say "little" sisters and brothers, but I'm the shortest one...so...yah. All of my siblings are wonderous people and have cool talents and have been through hell and back a few times and are still kicking it in life. I'm very amazed at them. My youngest sister, Ali, is a movie producer with her husband. They recently submitted one of their movies to an Indie Film Festival.

My daughter, Spring, and my son-in-law, Calen attended this event last Friday. They are here posing with my sister Ali who ALSO acted in the movie as the main character. The movie is called "Recipe For Love". It's a Rom-Com. At the Film Festival they won:Audience Choice, 3rd Place overall feature film, AND Ali won BEST production design. We were all thrilled for her.

Here's the trailer! Then we watched another GREAT movie about religious freedom in Germany (well....NOT religious Freedom) It's a true story and worth investigating. It made me feel that I need to be more proactive about protect religious freedom of all people. The next night Elder Cullen and I were able to zoom our home stake's Young Artist Festival. It was planned and executed as a senior project by a Windsor High School Senior. WE LOVE supporting the youth in our community and were happy to watch and rejoice in their talent and fun spirit.

Watching inspiring, informative and uplifting shows can really influence our lives! Although we were too far away to take part in the Indie Festival and Young Artist Festival, we were still able to support the people we love through virtual means, and modern technology! I am SO grateful for this. A thought came to me as we tried to show love to our far away loved ones. God is SO awesome that he connects with us whereever we are, intervene on our behalf when needed, send tangible love and resources and volunteers when needed...So although we can't see Him, he's always "online" and reachable and never out of range. I love the thought that I have constant access to Him and he never hangs up or disconnects. I might, but He never does.

There and Back Again Week 17

One of my younger sisters sent me this photo (I have five younger sisters). She was going through boxes of papers and found it. What is amazing to me is that Elder Cullen and I were not even thinking about dating each other at this time. It was a few weeks before his baptism and 11 months before our temple wedding and sealing. I had forgotten about this. Elder Cullen (Reg) was just a friend at work that I had invited to our Christmas Caroling because he had no family in the area and I didn't want him to feel lonely during the holiday season. On Jan 23, 1993 he made baptismal covenants with Jesus Christ, to take upon him the name of Jesus Christ, to obey his commandments, and to stand as a witness of Christ. He began to glow with a joy and peace that made people at work ask...is Reg in LOVE? I laughed and replied, "No, he's just found out he's literally a child of God." They shook their heads. I remember trying to set him up with at least two of my older cousins and another friend. It was one of those "Yenta" moments that backfired in May when he told me to stop trying to set him up with these other women because he was in love with me! I was shocked. We had spent so much time together while I mined him for his likes and dislikes and feelings about this and that so I could tell the other girls how wonderful he was. It had caused him to fall in love with me. He's 12 years older than me so he wasn't even on my radar for myself. What a blessing he has been in my life!

Looking at that letter and thinking of the time line that quickly followed...June of 1993 we were engaged, December 1993 sealed for time and eternity in the Oakland temple,

September 1994 Autumn is born...whoosh three more children: Spring, Benjamin, Ephraim...whoosh they all leave home...whoosh we're retired and old and chubby and serving a mission together. All because of an invitation. Just imagine...what wonderful and joyfull things can come into your life if you accept the invitation to come join the family of Jesus Christ through baptismal covenants. Come see that when you give your life to Christ he can make much more of it than you can even imagine!

The Parable of the Clogged Drain

One day our boss gathered us for a meeting and said, "I'm not blaming anyone for this. I didn't even know about it myself" that was a scary start. I could feel my eyes widdening. "I was just notified that our industrial clothes washer drain backed up and flooded the office down stairs. Apparently we're supposed to be cleaning the filter once a week. I didn't even know there was a filter!" We were astounded. Our boss had only been here a month and the rest of us had only been here two or three months. FUNNY how physics does it's physics things without regard for ignorance or mercy for being new on the job. Last week my daughter, Autumn, called to tell me a tale of WOE! Her washing machine drain had backed up and flooded her basement! The walls and floor were damaged and tons of clean up was needed. AGAIN, physics did it's physics thing. It didn't matter to the laws of nature that she also didn't know about drain filters, or that she was at the tail end of a terrible flu, or that she had two young children, or that she had company from out of town coming the next day, or a billion other things going on. NO MERCY from physics...just natural consequences. I pondered on these two incidences. I am a chemist, I love physics, and until now I did not see physics as an unfeeling tyrant, but here it was wreeking havoc in my daughter's life. I reflected on the scripture Alma 42:25 "What, do ye suppose that mercy can rob justice? I say unto you, Nay; not one whit. If so, God would cease to be God. 26 And thus God bringeth about his great and eternal purposes, which were prepared from the foundation of the world. And thus cometh about the salvation and the redemption of men, and also their destruction and misery." There are laws of Justice that GOD must obey or He will cease to be God. Like the clogged drain, when we sin even unknowingly it causes clogs in our lives. Each selfish, self defeating, or unkind act is like a hair, a string, or a chunk of something that doesn't seem to impact anything at the moment, but over time causes physical, emotional or spiritual flooding in our lives.

It's a law of Nature. Thank Heaven for Jesus Christ who, through the atonement, has provided a FILTER! HIS commandments are like a filter in the life drain. Each commandment is a wire in the filter that catches particles and through daily and weekly repentance we can clear that filter and keep our deeper drains clear and open. Because Christ accomplished His mission of doing His Father's will, he is able to provide MERCY and step between us and the LAW IF we choose Him. I invite you to choose Christ and though you will continue to make mistakes, your life will flow more smoothly as you repent and keep His commandments.

There and Back Again: Week 16

Elder Cullen has had a bit of a shift in his assignment. He is taking a pause in carpentry, and now using his Civil Engineering skills to help Historic Nauvoo be more ADA compatible with regard to their sidewalks. It's a wonderful thing for him. He was promised in a special blessing 30 years ago that he would go on a full time mission and use his engineering skills to share the gospel. How does being ADA compatible "share" the gospel of Jesus Christ? Everything we do here to make people feel loved, welcomed, and accomodated for brings a spirit of peace. When we feel loved and at peace we are more open to hearing the spirit of God testify to us of what is true and what is not true. Nauvoo is where many revelations were received and where the doctrine of eternal families was restored. We can live together forever with our families through temple covenants. The priesthood of God, the authority to act in His name has been restored. When you come to visit Nauvoo and see what these early saints sacrificed to show their devotion to Jesus Christ you can't help but be moved by their testimonies. On the lighter side, I made a silly music video about all the pickets Elder Cullen has helped to make in the Carpentry Shop. enjoy

Death on the Mississippi (Well Almost)

Our little Nauvoo Pearl of Great Price did her FIRST BIG job. Hauling all the decorations, Cooking tools, and food to and from the Exodus Event. She did well! Unfortuneately I did not do as well. Sunday afternoon I began to feel heavy and ill in my chest and head and by the middle of the night was engulfed in fever and confusion like I have not experienced in decades! It was rather symbolic as so many of the pioneers fell dreadfully ill during the exodus back in 1846! Unlike them, I had the luxery of a cozy, dry, warm bed.

Two days later Elder Cullen hauled me to Carthage where I was tested and found negative for Influenza and COVID, having an ear ached in the ear that didn't hurt, but no ear ache in the ear that did hurt, was told my lungs were clear even as I hucked thick wads of goo and eventually passed out in the chair. LOL I was a mess. I was given a cough suppressent so I could sleep and antibiotics just in case the infection went into my lungs and sent on my merry way. I was "dead" to the world for six days and recovered just in time to go to church the following Sunday and give a talk and sing a duet. Elder Cullen started to go down on Friday but was fine by Sunday. It was an asked for miracle.

And life continues to crush and amaze us as we focus on Christ.

There and Back Again: Week 15 (14 skipped)

A week ago last Saturday, was the highly anticipated Nauvoo Exodus Commemeration walk! My daughter, Autumn, from Iowa City and one of her sons (Emmet age 7) came. Unfortuneately her 2 year old Taran was very sick and stayed home with daddy Aaron. My Son, Ben, from Kansas City, MO and his sweet wife, Courtnie, and little Wells also came. We got an air BNB so everyone could have their space to play and rest. It was two blocks from our apt.

I really felt my prayers had been answered, the weather was "warm" at 35 degrees and sunny. People enjoyed the breakfast Elder Cullen and I planned with our crew and it was beautiful and delicious. (the warmers kept tripping the cicuits and that was stressful but not enough to ruin it) The Lord blessed us even in our trials and everyone was fed.

It filled me with joy to see my children teaching their children about our ancestors.

Emmet walked for a relative who was about his age when Joseph Smith was assasinated. This little boy and his father helped to bring Joseph's body back from Carthage. After the walk was over, We cleaned up and I babysat Emmet and Wells as the rest of the kids went to the Temple with Elder Cullen to do sealings for his side of the family and my side as well.

I would have LOVED to have been there with them as they sealed husbands to wives for all eternity and children to their parents for all eternity, but it gave me greater joy knowing that my children were together in the temple with their amazing father doing work for their dead. It was a very very wonderful day and full of family on both sides of the veil.

There and Back Again: Week 13

I took this picture of the statues of Joseph and Hyrum Smith riding from Nauvoo to Carthage for the last time of their mortal lives. Last Tuesday, at 6:30am in negative 10 degree weather, our beloved Suburban of 20 years and over 300,000 MILES blew it's engine on that VERY corner and when it got towed it got towed to CARTHAGE. I felt it was strangely symbolic somehow. That beautiful old car is burgening with all kinds of memories. It has carried us across country so many times to visit relatives, camp in the mountains and on the beaches, haul students on field trips and all the while kept us safe and protected. It broke down, got banged up, but always in conveinent places and "just in the nick of time" and always came back running great. It was our beloved miracle car that we purchased brand new with the money Elder Cullen received when his parents passed away. It brought us to Nauvoo!

We took that day and the next off work and did a deep dive to research replacement cars. BUT first we read our scriptures and prayed for help finding a new car. Our friends took us to Carthage to rent a car so we could get around until a replacement was found. We really were meticulous and every time we found a car we thought would be good and in our price range I would google."What's wrong with _________________" (fill in the name and year of the car) and BOY everything I read was terrible! Transmission would go within 3 to 5 years, computer fails, wiring of soy based material which attracts rats and mice, group law suits agains Toyota, KIA, FORD. It was very discouraging. ALL I wanted was my old car back, with all its quirks and dents and kid marks inside. I felt wretched. Then I felt impressed to google search, "What's wrong with a 2004 Chevy Suburban?" AND WOW...the worst reviews..all of which were totally untrue for me. Then the thought came gently into my mind. "The Suburban ran beautifully and was easily repaired because you were always praying over it. Pick any car you want and pray over it and I will bless it too." ALL of my stress just washed away. We searched the best car we had found and discovered that there were three of them in Burlington, IA. Off we went. Our salesman was a lovely young man with SIX kids. He was so low pressure, we drove and looked at many cars and settle on a KIA Sportage 2025. It's pearl white...so we dubbed it the "Nauvoo Pearl of Great Price" Our sweet new friend who will take us on more adventures in life.

She's AMAZINGLY high tech, which makes us nervous. We are already including her in our prayers that her computer chips will function properly, that the engine and systems will safely take us where we need to go, just like with The Suburan. We are so grateful for the power of prayer and personal revelation. Heavenly Father can be so humerous as we mortals fret and stew about things that don't really matter in the long run, but matter a lot to us right now. God is GOOD! If things aren't working out in your life, just hold on. It means God's work is still in progress and it will end up Good.

There and Back Again: Week 12

Elder Cullen's nick name for me is "My Little Percheron" because even though I am short, I am very strong. Here we are posed with two very BIG Percherons. Two of the 15 or so that they have here in Nauvoo for their wagon tours. It was a balmy sunshiny day of fourty degrees so we decided to adventure on a tour after work. There are so many interesting things to learn in Nauvoo.

This weekend We ventured into Keokuk (named for Chief Keokuk) for Bald Eagle Appreciation Days. It started with actually viewing the eagles on the banks of the Mississippi while they fished and then perched and digested. They were beautiful. The State Parks rangers were there with binoculars and site scopes for all! Then we went to the First Christian Church where the Bald Eagle Appreciation Day Celebration was held. There was SO much going on, Native American lectures, dances and singings, booths with very cool artifacts and items to sell. Live Raptor Programs presented by the World Bird Sanctuary of St. Louis. Travis Hays, “the Snakeman” with exhibits & interaction of reptiles, Phoencian Ship replica with native items showing how some tribes came to this land by ship! (Look up The Heartland Project) there was SO much going on and so many community members there. After having a really wonderful conversation and lunch with some of the First Christian Church ladies in the kitchen I went out to listen to the Native American Singer talk about the history of the Natives in that area. So imagine a giant lecture hall full of people selling things, talking, petting snakes and tarantulas, making crafts and eating...and then there's the low stage on one wall with several chairs in front of it and this man is talking to us about his people's history. I listened with facination and then as he spoke I started to feel very uncomfortable. Not with what he was saying, but with the fact that what he was saying was so tender that everyone in the room should have been sitting quietly and listening with attention. He spoke of his people being moved out of their villages, and their drums and eagle feathers taken from them, they were not allowed to practice their religion, their children were taken from them and "reprogramed" in public schools. He talked about how in the 50s they were allowed to be who they were but by then no one knew who they were and they had to work hard to bring back their culture and recreate it. Here was a native man who willingly and lovingly was sharing his culture with the people who's government had decimated his culture and most of the people in the room had no idea he was even talking. The chairs were filled, but it was only a fraction of the crowd. After members of his tribe danced he invited us to come up and join them. I DID! It was fun and it was beautiful. Then they ended with an ALL TRIBES dance which included everyone in the room. I helped clear the chairs away and then could not resist going to the craft tables and telling people to "Pause" what they were doing and come join the dance. I went to the animal petting place and encouraged them to come join the dance. I walked to the place where people were eating and invited them to come join the dance!!!

Some came, many were too embarassed to dance. Others just looked the other way, it was just too uncomfortable to engage with the smiling lady and reject her invitation LOL so better to not give her a chance. I did not get discouraged. I kept inviting. The lead dancer seemed excited that so many people were coming. "Keep Going" he mouthed to the singer/drummer as he lead all the people in the great circle. Then I gave up and joined the dance myself, not wanting to miss out.

Later as Elder Cullen and I continued our day we found ourselves in Montrose looking across the Mississippi at the Nauvoo Temple. This was where the Saints camped after being driven out of Nauvoo and eventually out of the United States. They looked back at their temple and their beautiful city they had sacrificed so much to build.

Then pressed forward with hope and faith in Christ and took their culture with them to the Great Salt Lake Valley (although they didn't know where they were going to go at the time). As a missionary I sometimes feel like that Native American man. I am also sharing our story and the beauty of our religion with the country who had driven us out. And our message is the same. Everyone is welcome. Come join the dance, come dance, it will bring you joy come dance!

YOU ARE INVITED!!! EXODUS MEMORIAL 179 years!

This annual event in Nauvoo, Illinois, is dedicated to remembering and honoring the departure of the Saints from Nauvoo in 1846. As the Saints left Nauvoo, they carried with them an unwavering faith in God, a bright hope for the future, and the empowering strength of their sacred covenants. Throughout their journey, they did not leave behind their covenant community; instead, they brought it with them. Our theme for the event will be Step Forward with Faith, Hope, and the Power of Sacred Covenants. Elder Cullen and I have been asked to be in charge of food for this huge Exodus Event that commemorates the fatefull day when mobs drove the members of the Church of Jesus Christ out of the United States. We're expecting 300 people to attend. When the exodus actually happend, thousands of people were driven across the frozen Mississippi. We've been told up to 500 have come in the past. We are counting on a "Widows Flour and Oil Miracle" with regard to the food if that's the case. So we're excited to do this. Hot Oatmeal (butter, brown sugar, raisons, cimmamon), Hot Biscuits and Gravy, Hot Corn Muffins with honey and butter and HOT Apple Cider. Wondering why all the food is going to be HOT? Because the temperatures are in the single digits! The day starts with grab and go HOT breakfast and picking up a name to walk for if you didn't find your own.

I have had a very fun time researching my ancestors for this event so I can walk in their name. Our daughter, Autumn, and her family are coming to walk and so is our son, Ben and his family. I have found 125 names of direct ancestors who lived in Nauvoo. Great Great Grandmothers and Grandfathers, Great Great Uncles and Aunts and Cousins from both my Mother's Mother's side and my Father's Mother's Side. Elder Cullen found 19 cousins who lived in Nauvoo that were part of this exodus and he thought he was the only member in his family!

This is Eliza Doty. When her husband Austin died in Nauvoo her brothers offered all the comfort that their money and wealth could buy for her if she and her children would leave Nauvoo and return back east to live. She remained with the Saints. She received her endowment just weeks before the temple had to permanently close. She made the journey alone with a newborn baby, four daughters and a young son, all under the age of 15. One child died on the trail, the rest arrived in the Great Salt Lake Valley on Sept 11, 1850. Or little Aaron Thomas Goff who was 6 years old at the Exodus and died the following year.

Elias Hicks Blackburn who had the gift of healing. He wrote in his journal, " My father died when I was one year old. In 1833 my mother moved with her family to Ohio and later to Illinois. In April 1845, I was baptized. At Nauvoo, Ill, I assisted in finishing the Temple, and in 1846 I took part in the exodus from Nauvoo. I witnessed the starting of the Mormon Battalion and spent the winter of 1846-47 in aiding the families of those who were in the Battalion. I married Sarah Jane Goff in 1847." And on and on it goes, a 4 month old, a 2 year old, a five year old, a 68 year old, family members in their 20s, 30s, 40s...all ages, all levels of finances, all walks of life, all sacrificing all they had for the right to worship Jesus Christ as they pleased. I am honored to walk for my family in Nauvoo. I will tell you how it goes when the event happens!

There and Back Again: Week 11

What does a fridge full of abandoned food, a very dirty house, and a pizza party have to do with the Grace of Jesus?? Well, last week we were getting a LOT done, we spent three days organizing our own office and supply room. Think 9 amazing hardworking women who don't need to be micromanaged, cleaning out closets, drawers, and cupboards then sorting, organizing and labeling everything so that all the processes you do in that space are streamlined. COOL EH? Our last day of the week we ventured out again to clean an apartment that had been vacated just before Christmas. We just needed to reset it for the next person to come in. It was a one bedroom/one bath apartment. We put two other apartments on our list of things to do that day, just because we knew it would be a quick and easy job.

OH NO! The fridge was FULL of food, there were clothes, shoes, garbage, boxes, papers, overflowing garbage cans, etc in all the rooms. The bathroom and kitchen looked like they had never been cleaned ever.... At first we thought we had the wrong place...was someone actually living here? OH My! There were several minutes of astounded exclaimations as we investigated each space. Then we unloaded all our cleaning gear from the cars and started in. At first there was a general disgust and maybe some justified frustration/anger. How selfish can you be? How can two nice rational adults just walk away and completely ignore the clean check? Who was their supervisor who was supposed to check them out? Don't they want their expensive bicycle pedals, nice jacket, etc? These were our questions. Our awesome Cleaning Fairy Boss put on a conference talk by the prophet, Russel M. Nelson..."Think Celestial" we listened as we scrubbed, soon we settled and just worked as hard as we could. We would not be getting to our other houses today. We began to laugh at the crazyness of it. Then one wise sister said, "We're not cleaning this up for the people who made the mess, we're preparing for the next people who come so they will feel loved!" She was right. It made me think of our Savior, Jesus Christ...who without disgusted and frustrated exclaimations, willingly comes to our aide to make right all that is wrong, ugly, and unexplainable. Jesus, who makes clean what is dirty and does it with LOVE because He actually DOES clean up messes for the people who make them so that they will feel comfortable and loved in His Wonderful Presense with Heavenly Father. I am so grateful for the angels he sends in my life to help me overcome my sins and weaknesses. I am grateful for my angel friends who love me with all my faults and enjoy being with me as I am. I in turn can be an angel for Jesus and help strengthen others, take the load when it's too heavy, and delight in just being together.

Surprise ending: I happened to know the person who had left and texted them, "Hey ___________, did you know you were supposed to clean your appartment before you left?" They were embarassed. My friend didn't realize that 8 sisters were going to be there seeing and cleaning the mess that had been left behind. My friend apologized and ordered pizzas for our lunch to show gratitude for the service and grace we gave them. That pizza totally hit the spot after hours of cleaning. The Grace of Jesus is more delicious than Pizza! Alls well that ends well.

KEEP IT CLEAN!

During Covid I started making cleaning videos to help parents teach their kids how to do a good job cleaning. Now that I'm here in Nauvoo there's talk of making cleaning videos to help the missionaries with check out! I'm so excited to volunteer to help with this project. This video below was an unpracticed draft...rather meandering...but a good first try!

The Parable of the SPONGE

Elder Cullen bought a sponge from Amazon. He read all the negative reviews. Some ridiculed that sponge saying that it was way too skinny and not worth buying. Elder Cullen read the positive reviews and decided to buy the sponge anyway. Sure enough it came super skinny.

However, after opening the package and imersing it in the water, the sponge began to GROW and became a wonderful Sponge! Those negative people hadn't even OPENED the vacuumed package!!! So many times when I try to share the Book of Mormon with my friends I feel like they have heard things that make them feel it would be a worthless skinny "sponge" but I promise that if you read it and have an open mind as you read, you will find that it is FULL of knowledge and truth and that it will cause your life to be filled with joy and peace. Don't bother with the negative reports of people who haven't even USED the product. Read the Book of Mormon today and start feeling the joy.

Abraham Lincoln

Elder Cullen and I went on a romantic get a way to the Land of Lincoln. I was very impressed by the weight of negativity Lincoln was pounded with. Evil and darkness tried to crush his soul. He was accused of doing TOO MUCH and NOT ENOUGH! He was working with millions of people who insisted on slavery, despised it, felt the union should be preserved but not slavery, and the union should be preserved but include slavery, and people who felt the union wasn't work preserving. At the cost of a lot of blood and blame he perservered to push that slavery should NOT persist or be allowed in any more states and work towards elemination in all other states. Because he persevered and did not let the social media of his time make him give up, we now are still a UNION and slavery was abolished. I can only imagine how much better off we would be if he had been allowed to live and accomplish his design for our country. I am grateful for his sacrifice. The country was not ready for his efforts, hence the civil war, but we still benefit from his efforts today.